For the last decade, I've fearlessly searched for something motivating…something to give me a sense of lasting passion and direction in life. I read amply and talked with others, and I discovered that there are many people who, like me, trudge through life hiding their pervasive discomfort, anxiety, isolation, emotional numbness, paranoia, and depression.
In late 2018, I accelerated my search by taking a sabbatical. I began seeing a therapist for my paranoia and emotional numbness, and I met my three closest friends. As my new friends and therapist accepted parts of me that I was afraid and ashamed of, I began to realize that, despite how much I thought I didn't need others' approval, the desire to be accepted was behind nearly all my actions and beliefs. I spent years believing I wasn't an emotional person, but when my friends and therapist felt my feelings with me, I cried magnitudes more than I had in my entire life. I discovered that my numbness and paranoia were fundamentally connected to the elusive something I had exhausted myself searching for.
What I was looking for was love. I've heard people boast about love since I was a child, but something changed in me half way through 2019, and now I feel a strong sense of direction.
I express my passion for warmth through music, relationships, and writing, but the most public expression is Thrive, Dear. My friend Elliot and I created Thrive, Dear to help ourselves and others nurture deeply meaningful relationships. If you're interested, please come check out our community or send me an email!
The universe in me sees and honors the universe in you, Namaste <3
I'm still on sabbatical from the software industry. Here's my latest, out of date resume.
Last updated: January 9, 2020